i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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