I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
