$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
