nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
