Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
