I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
