i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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