Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
