A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
