if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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