just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
