yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
