there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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