I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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