I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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