Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
