You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
