I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
