Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
