i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
