hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
