Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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