I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
