JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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