so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
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