So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
