so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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