Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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