They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
