I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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