i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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