Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
