Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
