11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize