Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
