Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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