bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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