he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
