She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
