it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think my vagina is haunted
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dicks are not precious.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
