I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
