I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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