I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
