Do you still have your period?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
