How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
