Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
