Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
