I puked a lego.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
why is half of my head shaved?
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