I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Houston, we have a squirter
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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