I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
