roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize