shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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