I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
