I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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