She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
