: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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