once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
