I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
