just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dick very happy bro
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
