Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
